You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
