Dual....:-)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
