so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
