You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
