saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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