is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
