watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
