dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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