so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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