The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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