he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
