Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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