remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
