Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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