i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
