Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
