If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
