I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
