Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
