you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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