You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
