i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
