i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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