Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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