please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
