right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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