escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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