that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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