Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
