Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
