Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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