Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize