Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
