i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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