I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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