Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds

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  (508): your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds http://tfl.nu/5eyd
  Replies (11) Good night (4658) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.

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  (706): I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/8ikv
  Replies (25) Good night (5024) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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  (724): the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year." http://tfl.nu/oy1q
  Replies (26) Good night (1266) Bad night (4751) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

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  (514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we
  Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (5161) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?

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  (860): What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang? http://tfl.nu/anu5
  Replies (37) Good night (4951) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.

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  (812): there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected. http://tfl.nu/s29p
  Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (2693) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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  (716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3
  Replies (3) Good night (2339) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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  (570): Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/7z3e
  Replies (8) Good night (3009) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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  (518): I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much http://tfl.nu/5fop
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

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  (403): Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours http://tfl.nu/wscg
  Replies (9) Good night (1282) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.

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  (647): I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway. http://tfl.nu/bxvu
  Replies (8) Good night (2345) Bad night (532)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  Best Friends For Life.

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  (815): You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub. (1-815): Best Friends For Life. http://tfl.nu/ev62
  Replies (7) Good night (3311) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?

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  (416): I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know? http://tfl.nu/vw9n
  Replies (11) Good night (509) Bad night (828)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.

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  (704): My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong. http://tfl.nu/luq5
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".

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  (902): I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores". http://tfl.nu/4gk3
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt

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