Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
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he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.