I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
