the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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