Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
