Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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