sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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