We're like a lot better than the average bears
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
