lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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