I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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