Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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