what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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