Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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