So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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