So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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