I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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