i will never coherently bang her
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
