I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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