so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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