Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
