I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have demons in me.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
