Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
