yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
