I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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