I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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