I feel like I'm in dance class right now
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
