Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
