he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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